- Kate Middleton and Prince William will be married on April 29th, 2011. There will be sapphires everywhere, mathematically angular curtsies, and crack babies. The fact they are 12th cousins will not be highlighted, however. - Radar
- Which is more peculiar: that Bristol Palin hasn't lost weight during her stint on Dancing with the Stars, or that people are shooting their televisions and sending white powders in envelopes addressed to her to the studios? - NYDN
- Lindsay Lohan can now drive again...even though she has no where to go and can only leave the Betty Ford Center for a soda. - Daily Express
- Taylor Momsen has been "sidelined" by producers of Gossip Girl because she continues to be terrible and look like the raccoon that just found out its human family just installed a garbage compactor. - Deadline
- Miley Cyrus turns 18 today, and this has been freaking people out and Demi Moore will spend today telling us how great and professional and loving and talented and smart she is. - MTV
- In Black Swan, Mila Kunis weighs 98 pounds. So, enjoy your popcorn, fatty. - PopEater
- After Charlie Sheen didn't pay his escort, Capri Anderson, for her naked suffering in a closet, she went on TV and and talked about what happened inside the suite at the Plaza. She said she was planning to file a criminal complaint (oooh!) against Sheen. Sheen and his lawyer now claim she's an extortionist (which she very well might be), and that she's breaking the code of escortism by blabbing. - ABC
- Kim Zolciak expects a reality show, now that she's having a baby. - Perez
